Another Post, So Soon!?

I posted last night and then I caught up on everyone. And then felt bad for what I'd posted.

This is a hard journey for everyone and it's more than awful when those BFNs show up or the cycle gets cancelled or the donor doesn't have a great response to the meds. I'm sorry that happens. And it sucks to have someone on the other side blithely saying "WOOHOO! It's great over here; we just don't sleep much."

Our last DE cycle was going to be our last cycle, period. We were "there", where I see quite a few of the folks I've been following are currently, too. "This is it and if it doesn't work, we're done."

We got lucky and got to move ahead with our prize(s) instead of moving ahead without them. I have to be honest: it's tough to remember how crappy that stage is--trying to finish up one's family. By "tough to remember," I mean, my heart and head protest when I try to go back there. So I don't often go.

Find the best clinic you can, and don't look back and second guess after you have made that choice. We all have different levels of comfort and traveling to an out of town clinic may freak you out or simply be another thing you have to do.

I will tell you that the best thing about being on this side is NOT having to think about it all the time. There is an amazing liberty in that I recommend to everyone, whether your family is finished the way it is or with another addition or two.

Still Here

Just a quick update that I'm still here and think of the blog often, even if I don't post.

Things are going really well around here. Both DE Daddy and I are continually thrilled by our adorable twins. We still cannot believe our luck and also how much the children take after both of us and our older son. What's funny is that sometimes I forget that the children are not supposed to be related to me and think that they are not biologically connected to DE Daddy. ("Well, obviously the children get this from me b/c their are missing the donor part from him...umm, wait? What???") A lack of sleep may be involved here, too.

That is really what is going on here for the most part. Except for the embryos we are donating to a friend. Yes, I will discuss this later, but we are going to donate some of the leftover embryos to a good friend (but not too good) so that she can complete her family.

In my life, I have learned to trust my gut, my intuition. It took me down this career path and it took me to my children to finish my family. This next step feels completely and utterly right. I don't know how it will turn out, but it will be "right." Not normal, as you may perceive it, but right for us.

So there. Things are good. Things are right. I am not a pollyana person, and things are not all roses and kittens over here. But this choice was right.

Am I repeating myself in all these posts? Yes, I am. When I check on the blogs I follow and see the doubt and worry, I hope this offers some comfort that there is a warm light at the end of the tunnel. There is no sleep here, so get ahold of yourself. But there is a warm and fuzzy light/life. It's a trade off. Deal with it. :-)