Friday, September 26, 2008

Pre-Cycle Insomnia

It's not that late for normal people, but considering I usually get up at 5 am to exercise, it's late for me.

Nothing big is going on.  I'm still neglecting to blog about the spate of 40+ women who have given birth in Hollywood.  Basically, Marcia Cross is the only one I think  who used her own eggs (although she had twins, so I'm not really sure).  Everyone else:  Geena Davis (twins at 48), Jane Seymour (twins at 45), Joan Lunden (twins at 54), Elizabeth Edwards (age 48 and 50 with her last two children), and Holly Hunter (twins at 47) really seem obvious that they used donor eggs.  

I actually had someone on my other blog get all cranky that I suggested that Geena Davis used donor eggs.  She had twins at age 48 and a son at 46, even though she claims the twins were an accident.  Really.  Reallllllly.  First, the statistics suggest that she didn't have these children by accident.  Three children in two years also suggest somebody was on ice: i.e., there were frosties from an IVF process.  Second, what does it matter?  Why does finding out that someone you like used donor eggs to finish their family bother you?  What if you found out that someone you liked adopted a child?  Had stepchildren?  Had a child out of wedlock?  Was a foster parent?  Used a sperm donor? What difference does it make to you and your relationship to this person, much less to their child?

Second, I'm starting to get annoyed at hearing The Definitive Answer as to Why Women Choose Donor Eggs.  I chose donor eggs because I wanted the best probability to have another child considering the amount of money we could spend.  I did not choose to use DE just because I want the intimate experience of giving birth.  I just know that 30% of domestic adoptions end up in "adoption miscarriages" in which the birth mom changes her mind.  That's a risk that feels too hard for me, right now.  Plus, I'll get to breastfeed more easily-and considering our DS breastfed until he was 40 months old, it is important to me.   
So don't tell me why I did what I did and stop saying that Hollywood simply has enough money to do multiple tries at IVF so that they get pregnant.  They didn't.  They used donor eggs, and all of us know that.

Phhht.  Now, let that sleeping medicine works soon so I'm not up for another two hours.  

But boy, reading back over this blog post, I sound CRANKY!!  I'm not really all that cranky. (And I've come back on Saturday morning to edit this--so it was worse before now!!) I'm really  excited that we're starting another cycle, but I'm just not that naive anymore.  

So whatever.  I also may be picking up on the fight I'm halfway watching on HGTV.  Now, there is some crankiness going on.  I may try to find some other program to calm me down.  It's a floor gone bad on HGTV.

Monday, September 22, 2008


No, I didn't fall off the face of the planet; it just felt that way.

We've been waiting for our donor to start her cycle so we could start the process.  I have been incredibly worried because she was due to start Sept 12 and when we didn't hear from her for a long time, I was freaking that she had either changed her mind or was pg.  (It could happen!)

She very, very kindly emailed our clinic on Friday that she was still waiting to start and new how important it was for us to get started.  (Everybody now:  awwwwww)  And she finally started her cycle today!


Even better, we now scheduled cycle with her aiming for a retrieval on Oct 22-25  and then a transfer back to me October 25-29 depending on whether we do a 3 day transfer (not so good) or a 5 day transfer (great!).  

We are looking at flights now and I am figuring out how to work my teaching schedule.  Also, I've been invited to give a research talk at my graduate school alma mater, which would be very prestigious, but scary. I'm not sure how I can manage stressful baby and work at the same time.  I also might be able to count my ticket as business expense, should I give the talk.  Tax deductible IVF is always a good thing.

We are pretty psyched to get started.  This has certainly been a slow to GO GO GO process!! 

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Diddly Squat

Fortunately, I have nothing new to report.  The donor has not balked or tested positive for an STD.  I am just living life and waiting for the "real" part of the cycle to start.

I have told a few more people in my world what is going.  99% of the people who know are people 1)  whom I trust to not tell a soul, 2) who don't know anybody in my day-to-day world, or 3) who don't give a shit.  There is only one person I've told who I think could say something, but I've given her the story of what to say:  she can say she  knows "somebody" who has used DE, but she can't say it's me.  I think it's wrong to not let others know thatDE  is a viable option.  Nonetheless, there's that one neighbor of mine who has already stated her discomfort with a friend who used a surrogate.  I do not want her to EVER know we've used DE.  We might as well write it in neon around our city and have her comment that it's not our "real child" as a subtitle.

One thing that is funny is that since we seriously considered adoption, I don't worry about thinking a DE child will be mine.  It is so not even a part of my mindset that sometimes I don't understand it.  But I fully realize that when DE Daddy and I were dating we never expected that we would be able to conceive on our own.  So our son is ths shock, not that we're on some other path to finish building our family.

I still need to post on the spate of twins in Hollywood for the 40+ women.  Bleah.  I was all worked up when I read it.  Now it's late and I want to go to bed.