Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Moms after 40

This series of pictures gives such false hope to women out there; it's celebrities who have had children after 40. Of the 20 celebrities they list, I suggest that the following used donor eggs. Oddly, the only person who is suggested to have used donor eggs was Elizabeth Edwards, probably because Real People analyzed her life (not just celebrity gossips)

Probably used Donor Eggs:
Kelly Preston
Jayne Seymour
Susan Sarandon (??? Can't tell. Could have used FET from her first IVF)
Beverly D'Angelo
Holly Hunter
Marcia Cross
Marcia Gay Harden
Elizabeth Edwards
Geena Davis

So why am I so sure? It is highly...HIGHLY unlikely that anyone over 40 gets pregnant using IVF, much less has twins. I know, from friends, that it happens. But the odds are that none of those women, who had twins or got pg after 46 used their own eggs.

There is nothing wrong with that---obviously!---but be honest 1) to use your "power" for destigmatizing donor eggs and 2) to take always false hopes from regular folks.

Just my kvetching.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

He's Here!

Our friend's son, from our frosties, arrived a few weeks early in January. He is wonderful and beautiful and our friend is high on being a mommy!

Things are going extraordinarily well, should you think there might be problems. Our children understand about their "super cousin" with our oldest child's concern that he is still the oldest of everyone. Old is Big for kids.

Even more crazy, I think the super cousin looks more like our older child than the twins.

And craziest, we are nothing but excited that we could help our friend start and finish her family. This is not our children's sibling. This is a super cousin. More than a cousin, but not a sibling.

I don't think that everyone can do what we have done. One of my strengths is the ability to draw and maintain very strong boundaries. I fully understand how adopting a FET to another family could be hard and confusing. But it doesn't have to be. And it can be quite fulfilling with some substantial positive emotions.

We are thrilled for our friend--even the children who pray for her and her child every night. They confuse Baby ***** with Baby Jesus, but that is a whole other story.