Friday, February 6, 2009

Pooped and also Not

I am feeling better as I enter the 17th week.  I'm not nearly as tired as I was.  However, I am still fracking tired.  I came home from work early on Wednesday and took a 2 hour nap.  I have no idea how I'm going to make it in 10 weeks, much less in 20 more weeks.  Yet, I will.  I promise you, little twinnies!

Weight gain is not a problem.  I'm already at 25 lbs and am actually not as hungry as I was.  I'm still eating more than usual, but I'm not trying extra hard to gain weight.  It does not appear to be a problem with me.  I'm hoping that means that despite all those miscarriages, I'm actually a hardy breeder and will keep these babies inside me until they are fully cooked.

Like the rest of you, I'm sure, I'm still processing the octuplets.  My current call is that the woman is not completely mentally stable.  But her fertility doctors are the ones who should be held accountable for their actions in this case.  Obviously, I'm not spouting out any new words of wisdom, but there ya go.  

Another thing that has been on my mind has also been less supportive and more judgemental than I'd like.  I haven't blogged in a while because I feel like I can't get past this, and it's not my normal supportive thing to say.  Nonetheless, I have to write what's on my soul.  Here it is:  I'm not sure everyone should use donor eggs to complete their family. In particular, if you crave, and I mean long for from the bottom of your heart, a complete genetic connection to your children, I don't think donor eggs is your best bet.   

Here's the reason why I think this way.  I have two friends who were adopted as infants.  One woman thinks it worked well for her, and in our discussions she is clear who her mother is.  The reason?  Her mother made it clear to her that she was her mother and my friend was her daughter.  This woman is a PhD and still has to remind herself when she goes to the doctor not to report her mother or father's history of heart disease, because she doesn't know her genetic history.  

My other friend did not think adoption is a good option.  Why?  She felt like she wasn't good enough.  She wasn't their first choice.  And that, literally, if she wasn't good enough, her parents would send her away.  She's a PhD, too, in the same specialized, smarty pants sub-discipline as my other friend.  

I did not really like the counselor we had to see to be approved to use DE in our clinic.  But I'm glad really glad we resolved any ambivalence we might have had (we had little to none) before we got started.  

Enough.  I'm hoping for more light hearted blogs later.