Saturday, May 2, 2015

Resemblance talk

Wow.  I thought i had lost access to this blog.  I'm signing on to this through my DS's computer account.  Mine automatically takes me to my un-anonymous blog.  And I'm not ready to "come out" yet.

But this has been on my mind for a very, very long time.  In fact, one of the first posts on this blog was on Resemblance Talk.  So, yeah.

Does DEMommy look like her twins?  Well, last weekend, a stranger said my twin son looks like me in the face.  Maybe.

But does DEMommy share an amazing resemblance with her children's personality?  Ab-so-freaking-lutely.  And I point it out all the time.  My twin son has a surprised scream that sounds just like mine.  He reacts so, so, so quickly just like I do.  My twin daughter has an empathetic nature and a humor and a type of hair that is exactly like mine.

I think it is absolutely important to point these things out and to have the family agree on them.  It's a bond, a connection that I can't imagine NOT actively promoting and sharing with your children. Do adopted parents and children do so?  I would imagine that the healthy ones do.  Why shouldn't DE and DS parents do it, too?

Can you imagine a child with some characteristic (especially a negative one) that isolates him or her from the family?  That the family doesn't help him or her see that it's normal and part of the family and something other people he/she loves has.

Now more than ever, I believe resemblance talk is essential for a family, no matter how they are put together.

I'd love to hear how others are dealing with this.

And I'm glad to find how to access this blog again!!!

5 comments:

Peeveme said...

I think about it some. Not a lot. Mostly I don't want my daughter to feel sad that she does not look like mommy. I totally understand the personality thing. My little one from DE is more like me than her she is like her father.

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