Wow. I thought i had lost access to this blog. I'm signing on to this through my DS's computer account. Mine automatically takes me to my un-anonymous blog. And I'm not ready to "come out" yet.
But this has been on my mind for a very, very long time. In fact, one of the first posts on this blog was on Resemblance Talk. So, yeah.
Does DEMommy look like her twins? Well, last weekend, a stranger said my twin son looks like me in the face. Maybe.
But does DEMommy share an amazing resemblance with her children's personality? Ab-so-freaking-lutely. And I point it out all the time. My twin son has a surprised scream that sounds just like mine. He reacts so, so, so quickly just like I do. My twin daughter has an empathetic nature and a humor and a type of hair that is exactly like mine.
I think it is absolutely important to point these things out and to have the family agree on them. It's a bond, a connection that I can't imagine NOT actively promoting and sharing with your children. Do adopted parents and children do so? I would imagine that the healthy ones do. Why shouldn't DE and DS parents do it, too?
Can you imagine a child with some characteristic (especially a negative one) that isolates him or her from the family? That the family doesn't help him or her see that it's normal and part of the family and something other people he/she loves has.
Now more than ever, I believe resemblance talk is essential for a family, no matter how they are put together.
I'd love to hear how others are dealing with this.
And I'm glad to find how to access this blog again!!!
About Me
- DE Mommy
- Our son was conceived after two months of "trying." Imagine our surprise when the next 8 pregnancies ended in miscarriages (5 chemical pgs and 3 clinical m/cs ranging from 8 weeks to 12 weeks). We've considered adoption but started trying donor eggs first. Our frist DE cycle was with frozen donor eggs. Our 1st fresh cycle was canceled when the donor tested (falsely) positive for HIV. We also think I may have an auto-immune issue. We are pregnant with twins after our 3rd DE cycle, the first one we got to "try" with!
14 comments:
I think about it some. Not a lot. Mostly I don't want my daughter to feel sad that she does not look like mommy. I totally understand the personality thing. My little one from DE is more like me than her she is like her father.
Initially when I looked at clinics for embryo donation biotexcom responded very quickly to my queries and had the shortest waiting time. My coordinator called me and gave me all the details of what treatment involved, and answered all the questions I had. She also has very good English so there was no communication barrier at all. This process was a lot easier than I anticipated. All contact made through email and at all times my emails were responded to quickly and thoroughly. And the cost was not too much either. I was sent a treatment plan which was very clear and easy to follow. I was given my transfer date well in advance so I had plenty of time to plan my flights and accommodation. When I attended biotexcom on the day of transfer I was impressed at what a spotlessly clean clinic this is. All the staff was extremely friendly. I met my coordinator who was so friendly and kind and put me at ease before treatment. I spoke to the embryologist and the doctor before treatment. Procedure was very quick and efficient by the doctor performing procedure. After years of infertility treatment I am so glad I made the decision to go with embryo adoption. It is not easy to decide to go to another country and have treatment. I can’t believe how smoothly and stress free this process was. After years of tears and heartache they have helped to make myself and my husband’s dream of having a family come true. I am so grateful!
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