Re-Matched

We are now officially matched up with a new donor and as far as I can tell, she has said YES, she will do it! (I was out of town for a meeting yesterday and only exchanged one email instead of the zillion calls and emails I've been doing before)

I have to be honest: I'm a little more cautious about this one, now that I've already tasted disappointment. This donor has had 5 pgs out of 7 cycles. The last cycle did not result in pg, but the couple ended up with 11 frosties. The FET failed for this couple too, so their may be an undiagnosed problem with the couple because "the embryos and frosties were top notch!!" (says the coordinator)

This donor is as tall as I am, although she's a bit heavier. (As an aside, I realized that I am not nearly as heavy as I thought I comparing my weight to the donors' weights and they are all so cute!!) Nonetheless, this donor's mother was a ballet dancer all her life and some of thedonor's older pictures show her as being quite thin. She doesn't have curly hair, but it's dark like mine. (our next donor choice is bloooooond, so I'm actually a bit happy to have a darker haired donor) There are some other differenecs and I realize as I read on another blog, she doesn't look exactly like me and I need to just deal with that. As my husband keeps pointing out, we were open to adoptiong a biracial/transracial child, so "like me" is really far down on the list of priorities in this process.

Our neighbors came over for dinner last night and although they don't know exactly what we are doing, they shared the story of a latino friend of theirs who has dark hair, dark eyes and dark skin who had a blond, blue eyed, pale son. Traditional parental genetics don't mean as much as one might think! Sarah Vowell is a twin born of a Swede and a Native American and she and her twin look very different!

So, in any case, we're rematched. I'm excited. There are things I really like about this donor, but I'm a bit more apprehensive than I was. I don't know if it's because I've already been disappointed by losing our first donor or because I'm tapping into some as-yet-unidentified thing that bothers me about this donor.

I need to fall back in love (affection? appreciation?) with this donor like I had with the first one.