Friday, May 23, 2008

Excited and Closure

Well, although we continue Mission: Kill The Rats at our house, we do have some more appropriate DE news.

First, we met with our old clinic for the post-mortem for the failed thawing of the frozen eggs. The one thing I did NOT want to happen is for them to say "Well, this sort of thing just happens and successfully thawing frozen eggs is not very likely anyway." Therefore, I went in with the stats from the donating clinic and a couple of articles from Fertility & Sterility and Science.

Although they did imply that "this sort of thing just happens", they did indirectly admit that they had had a learning curve on freezing and thawing embryos and that likely this was the same sort of thing. No one said that directly (God forbid!), but there was an undercurrent of that sentiment. Also, both the RE and the embryologist seemed surprised and upset that this happened. Actually, the embyrologist seemed upset. The RE seemed more "circumspect."

I really, really didn't want to go in and be all "YOU'RE INCOMPETENT!" but clearly mistakes were made. The RE tried hard to close ranks saying "this sort of thing happens" and "maybe there was a difference in the water purification", but the embryologist seemed more upset that this was a complete and abject failure. We tried to tell them that we could have handled not getting pg, but not even getting a try was not cool.

In any case, the bottom line is that we are being refunded the all the money for the embryologist and transfer part of the cycle. We won't get our money back for the services already provided (HSG, trial transfer, medications, etc), but that seems absolutely fine. That refund turns out to be a significant chunk of change and will really help for this next cycle.

Which we are doing elsewhere. I've already mentioned which clinic we're using, but I think I'm going to refrain from doing it again, just to give everyone a little bit more privacy. That said, I've already had a phone meeting with the RE and the DE coordinator. I have everyone's email addresses and private phone numbers. (WOW!) I also have assurances that they are going to make sure I have a baby to take home with me.

Let me reiterate the stats: 80-85% success rates on DE with an 80% chance of two blastocysts and frosties with each cycle. Their FET success rates are also about 70%! That's higher than even my current clinic's fresh cycle success rates.

So here is an example that makes me feel like this is the right place for us to be: every single person, from the original intake person to the RE to the DE coordinator knows about us and the frozen egg debacle. Everyone brought it up first and said something kind about it. Every. Single. Person. At the old clinic, I had to correct everyone I dealt with (except my RE and his main nurse) that I was NOT doing frozen embryo but frozen eggs. Even the doctors at my monitoring visits looked at me with a blank face when I tried to tell explain what I was doing.

I also feel like at this new clinic their main goal is to make sure I have a baby. And they really think they can do it. I told the DE coordinator today that I would love to have twins and she said "Well, let's just see if we can get you twins." That statement would never be allowed at my old clinic.

Onward and upward and closer to bringing our child(ren) home.


midlife mommy said...

I am glad that you got your money back, or at least a good part of it. I am glad that you got some satisfaction that at least some of the team thinks they effed up, but I'm sorry that they did eff up. But most of all, I'm glad that you found a place that you can go to that has given you hope for going forward. Those stats sound amazing.

Kami said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog. It sounds like the new clinic is going to be leaps and bounds better than the old one.

I couldn't help but check out their stats and my clinic has a similar live birth rate (a few percentage less) for DE, but transfers less embryos. The FET rate is much higher at your clinic, however, so it will be interesting to see how they do things. I wonder if they freeze some embryos early.

It's hard to not see 80% chance as 100% chance, huh? I sure felt that way after our failed IVF cycles. I hope it goes as well as you hope.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to find your blog! I know it's difficult to accept a thought you will carry baby from donor egg. I was also afraid at first. It wasn't easy not to think about all those 'what ifs' questions. I had donation at 46 years old. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 30 yo. I spent years in treatments and medications. I really hoped they will help... I wish I knew all that was useless. I wouldn't waste so much time and money for all that. But what can we do... There is no chance to know everything for sure. I don't know what would I've done without my husband. He was supporting me and comforting me at those period of time. It was so hard to get back to some actions towards our goal to have children. I wasn't getting younger and I needed to make some decisions asap. So donation was my only chance to have children. I underwent DE IVF in Ukraine. I asked the clinic to find donor, which looks like me. I've just gave my doctor a list with some features, which I would like my egg donor to have. Yes, I admit, even after going to the clinic and signing a contract I had some doubts. I had no idea how I will feel about a baby. It was impossible to turn off my mind. But as soon as I knew I was pregnant everything had changed. We were so happy and the only thing which mattered was health of our babies! After that moment I've never considered my children as not mine or that they are from some other woman. They are my babies no matter what. I gave birth to two wonderful kids, Daniel and Denis. Everybody tell, they look like us! No one ever guess we went through this procedure. I've never regret about my decision. I have no idea how would I live without my precious kids. I wish you all the best!

DE Mommy said...

What a wonderful story!!! Thank you for sharing!