Friday, May 16, 2008

One Week In

Exactly a week ago is when we found out that only 4 eggs made it through the thaw and it was my first clue that things were not going to go the way I thought.

I hate that I keep saying to myself "I'm supposed to be on bedrest right now. I'm supposed to be wondering if my sore boobs are due to a pg and not the prometrium to make my period appear. I'm supposed to be watching a lot of TV and not working this week."

Nonetheless, a friend commented that I clearly don't let the grass grow under my feet.

I hate feeling as awful as I did on Monday. Whether it's healthy or not, I cannot stay in that place and wallow in the pain. I'm really glad we have a plan for another try and I know in the deepest part of my heart that if *this* one doesn't work, we are completely done.

A *week* ago. A *week* ago we were completely in another place. It seems like a whole other place. Oh, BTW, any advice for choosing a donor is welcome.

We looked over our financial estimate for this last cycle. They charged us $5200 for ICSI on 11 or more eggs. In actuality, they only did ICSI on 4, but I imagine some of that money also went for the thaw. We are planning on asking for most of that money back (along with the $700 for the transfer we paid for and didn't do). We were their guinea pigs and they messed up. Does that happen? Do you get money back when it's a failed event and they haven't done the procedures we paid for?

It's a lot of money, but it seems like years ago that they paid it. I just want to go forward now and have another real try again. For the first time.

1 comment:

midlife mommy said...

Choosing a donor is a very personal decision. I can tell you what I looked for . . . since we were replacing MY genes, I wanted someone with the same ethnic background, body build, and coloring as me. I also looked at the health (or health issues) of everyone in the family, and how long the grandparents lived (or whether were still living). I tried to avoid allergies (I have them, and I hate them) and alcoholism. I looked at grades and level of education, though I wouldn't rule someone out without a degree -- I would just look at what their interests were to see if they had some innate smarts. After all that, it was more intuitive -- did I like this person, based on the information I had, or the picture that I received (the first time we didn't get a picture). It is also nice to get a proven donor who can produce a lot of eggs -- so that you can at least try FETs if the fresh transfer doesn't work, since this whole process is so darned expensive.

The good news is that the person who is coordinating the donor program can help you by asking these types of questions. Our "broker" started with ethnic background and printed out around eight profiles, and we chose from there. She would have recruited for us -- all for an additional fee of course.

Good luck!