I don't even know where we are as far as the Number of Donors We Have Chosen. We do have some unexpected good news: the donor we chose first a few weeks ago is back from vacation and very willing to cycle in October. On her last cycle, she had 30 mature eggs, they ended up freezing 10 and she had 10 frozen embryos in addition to the BFP her intended parents had.
Them some good numbers. She is basically 2 for 2 in BFPs and I don't know about the frosties for her first round, but this second one makes her clearly a super-donor.
And then we have a entirely new donor: She's but very similar to me in education, academices, body type, and apparently, from her genetic report, some personality characteristics. However, she is UNPROVEN. We don't know how well her eggs are going to perform. I know this clinic has an 80% success rate and that includes both the proven and the unproven.
But do we want to chance it? If I found out later that she was a good donor, would I be sad we didn't go for it? Or would I fall into a deep, deep funk if we don't get pregnant because we didn't choose a donor whose history we know?
DE Daddy is out town for the night and with a buddy, so he won't be able to talk. What do you all think about everything, Internets?
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5 comments:
No question for me..I would go with the proven donor with the great track record. For me personall when we chose out donor it wasn't really about education, looks or personality. It was about previous cycles. Well, that and height. DH and I are both short so I didn;t want a kid that towered over us. :) I strongly believe in nuture vs nature. My DD was adopted at birth and couldn't be more like me if I gave birth to her. I think you hit the nail on the head when you stated that you just don't know how her eggs are going to perform. If you are willing to take the risk then you could go for it. Just depends on how much of a risk you want to take. Tough decisions but in the end you will make the one that is ultimatley right for you and then just don't look back. Sometimes this is just the universe throwing you a curveball but in the end what is supposed to be will be. Hugs to you!!!!
Danielle
Wow, this is a pretty tough decision. I guess the question I would ask myself in your situation is which would I regret more? If I cycled with the super-donor and was successful but later found out that entirely new donor was also a superdonor or if I went with entirely new donor and it didn't work?
The hard part about all of this is that you are taking some sort of risk no matter what you do and who you choose.
I had a slightly different situation with my donor. Because I wanted a donor of a particular ethnicity, at the time I was matched there was only one. She was only "half" proven because she did go through retrieval and had a good number of mature eggs, but they were all donated to the egg freezing program (i.e. there were no recipients). So, we didn't know if her eggs had any problems with fertilization or development, etc. Before our cycle started, the clinic added another donor of the same ethnicity and she had donated before, had many more eggs retrieved and her recipients got a BFP. I still stuck with our original choice, though, even though we had not yet signed any contracts because I just felt like I related better to the first donor and we shared more of the same characteristics and so felt more comfortable going with her, even though it meant a higher possibility of an unsuccessful cycle.
For me, a proven donor was important. I needed to know that there was a chance based on past donations. Because V and I are inter-racial, the only criteria I really had that the donor was caucasian so that any children had a chance at "resembling" me. But really, it all comes down to your own gut feeling and what is important to you.
I'm new to your blog. I'm newly considering DE and trying to manage all the logistics and emotional challenges. If I were you I'd go with the proven one. Unless there are some real reasons you'd choose the other donor (ethnicity, much shorter wait time). All other things being equal I'd go with the proven.
Don't make our mistake - go with the proven. Our clinic also has an 80% success rate with DE but we fell into the 20% that failed and trust me, that hurt. A lot. Go with the proven.
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